Where is the door to the Art World?
I think it is very important to be ambitious if you want to reach your dreams but having high aspirations can sometimes fuel a lot of frustrations. I think we are frustrated because we did not prepare well enough for failure. You must prepare to fail and fail often. Still, no matter how many times I fail I can’t help but feel annoyed at the lack of success.
The only way to get the Art World to notice your art is to have art worth noticing in the first place. This is my biggest challenge. For me the hardest part about being a painter is finding ways to fund my work. I have always hated sales. I never worked for sales but it is hard to create new paintings if you have no income.
One huddle was the fact that I was born with Sickle Cell Anemia so working a normal job each day to make a living was not sustainable due to getting sick once per month and having to spend 0ne or two weeks in a hospital bed. So I could not use my paychecks to create my art. Not that I did not try to work anyway. I only gave up working after I found being homeless was way too dangerous for a person living with Sickle Cell Disease to take those risks. So I had to settle for being on disability. I became blind due to a Sickle Cell crisis for a few weeks and lost the vision in my right eye so for a few years I gave up looking for the door to the Art World. If I could not see well enough to paint I really had noticing to show in that world.
Still my love for Art and the drive to create my own art would not die. I deeply wanted to paint, I had to fight my eye sight to do so but I wanted to create my art. 4 years ago, months before every indie video game developer began raising record millions of dollars on KickStarter for their games I started a KickStarter for an ambitious Art Project I had in mind.
“Haitian Superflat!” I wanted to focus my work on painting about the similarities I noticed between the cultures of people living on two very different islands Haiti and Japan. Japan has Shinto and Haiti has Vodou which influerence the daily rituals that people followed. I found some interesting similarities that I wanted to explore as the subject in my art. I don’t think I explained what my project was well enough and after a month I ended up with 13 backers after 30 days. I failed but in that failure I found I was being more productive and creative in trying to reach people to support my art goals.
I am a frustrated artist, because I love Art, and as much as I love been a fan of the arts. I can’t shake the deeper feeling that would like to someday be part of that world on the highest level. That is a dream I think most artist have in the back of their mind at one point or another. But after years of painting it is hard not to feel depressed seeing dead people’s work praised over the living. I’m not dead yet, but I want to create art that will live forever. I want to be remembered by someone. I failed over and over again but I am creating new work. I am learning new ways to express myself as a painter.
Visual Arts is a rough trade. It is easy to feel rejected and dejected. Having high aspirations in this field takes vast amounts of energy and endurance. How do you stay motivated when you fail so often to find an open door to a world you know exists? I’ve seen movies about it. As a kid I took field trips that made art class my favorite place to earn good grades on my art projects. I know a door exists getting an A might help me find it.
As I got older, I began to I ask myself what are you waiting for? You need an agent. You need a gallery. You need a gimmick. I can’t find the door. And when I do find a door it is locked. You need an Art Critic with a key to review your merit for entry. Did Jean-Michel Basiquiat wait for critics? It is hard not to feel anxious when you set a goal and find yourself at the door steps of success but the door is locked. Is my work worthy? You ask yourself hundreds of questions and see around you millions waiting behind you for the door to open, everyone is an artist these days.
My creative mind tells me the door is there, to see it I just have to Imagine its shape. Draw the lines ane it becomes the door, paint the door, sculpt the door into your view. Do not knock no one will open that door for you, it is your creation. You should already have the key imagine it, “Open, Says Me!”
20 years ago, I felt that my pain was not being address or believed so I had to paint the image of my suffering for others to see and believe that my pain was real.
1o months ago I wanted to create a new series of Art and had a simple plan to find 500 people to pledge $1 per month to help me fund my artwork. I started a Patreon campaign to ask friend and family to become my patron and help me create my new puzzle series. This was a simple plan but so far I have only reach 18 people, not the 500 my aspirations dreamed of. “Open, Says Me!” I believe my 500 supporters are still possible I just have to reach my 19th and 20th. My 500th patron is out there I have to remeber to keep working because I do have 18 supports with me today. I just have to keep creating and keep sharing my work.
I am working really hard towars my next art exhibit because I kept creating new doors for myself to open no matter how many I failed to open. I will keep creating my art.
Don’t stop dreaming and aspiring to be better at what you do. You have to love the journey through this Life, for the sake of your art. I am sharing my story, I am sharing the jouney, and I am sharing my art hoping someone will remember me. Over the years my style has changed, my art has evolved. I am not yet part of that world but I am liking more and more the world I have created for myself.
Open…
( I reached my 19th Patron just as I published this story, Thank You! )
